As of writing this, we are still just rounding the corner into a fresh new year. The coming of a new year is a time of celebration for some: a time of looking back happily at the year’s fondest memories and boasting accomplishments and milestones reached. However, others quietly turn the page into the next life chapter. Some seasons are heavier than others, weighed down with disappointments and fresh trauma: goals not reached, life thrown out of balance, even the painful loss of loved ones. We needn’t be ashamed to sit honestly in our feelings and admit “Actually… it’s been a rough one…” This topic may seem an unrelated departure for a mere “travel blog” but as I have undertaken writing about my experiences traveling the world, it seemed right to begin this new year with a compassionate acknowledgment: Sometimes movement through life as with movement through the world is heavy and overwhelming. I am no stranger to traversing bumps in the road along my journey. So, with love, I offer here some positive affirmations for self-care during difficult times.

Disclaimer: I am not a motivational speaker or trained psychologist. These are just my thoughts, experiences, and opinions. I am not responsible for any actions that may result in injury or disappointment. You can read my full Terms, Conditions, and Disclaimer from the link in the header or footer of the page.

Sadness can exist alongside Gratitude:

You shouldn’t drown in sorrow…

But you don’t have to suppress negative emotions in your healing journey.

Life throws you a punch (or two): a sudden shift, a painful loss, a tragedy. It can be tempting to think that the road to healing must incorporate suppressing the anger, sadness, and confusion. I used to think the best way out of sadness was to distract myself with happy thoughts or activities: “Just Stay Positive”. But I’ve come to understand that deep sadness and even grief can exist alongside gratitude. Rather than labeling myself as “damaged” or “broken” for feeling anxious or depressed, I honor those feelings and give thanks for the awareness of something out of balance in my life. If I have the power to change it for the better, the discomfort of the awareness is my first step in moving forward. Perhaps one of the heaviest blows life can deal us is the passing of a loved one. I do not allow myself to be swallowed up by staring at the emptiness, the painful absence of their physical body. Rather, it is a unique time to reflect upon the fact that immense pain of loss is a reflection of the immense love that was shared. This shouldn’t be misconstrued as advice to “Just cheer up”. Some experiences that befall us are truly horrific. I believe we should allow ourselves to feel the breadth of our emotions with honesty. Maybe the only glimmer of gratitude to be seen in a situation is that you survived it but it is even in that little glimmer that hope can arise: and hope is the soil from which any creation and forward motion in life can grow.

Try approaching your health goals

from a place of compassion rather than punishment

During rough patches, it can be easy to neglect perhaps the base of self-care: our overall physical and mental health. Remind yourself that a healthy body and mind are like your vehicle or your ship and its sails in the storm. So, simply put, you’ve got to take care of it… even on days you barely want to get out of bed. Now, if I held a rigid idea of fitness and nutrition as strenuous workouts and restrictive diet, I am likely to quickly fall off that wagon, sink right back into bed, and lean into unhealthy pleasures for comfort and numbness. I choose to change my inner dialogue from “Get it together! Push Yourself! Fix Yourself! Just DO it!” into a more loving “I remember how great my body feels when I move, dance, stretch, hydrate, get a full night’s rest, etc. My mind is so calm and clear when I take a few deep conscious breaths, go for a long walk, or write my thoughts down. I deserve to exist in that beautiful state.” To each their own: maybe for some, being your own personal drill sergeant is the only motivation that works for you. For me, I need to treat myself with more gentleness when I’m going through a difficult time.

Be Mindful About Your Media Consumption

It does not escape me that those who read this are doing so on a screen but… we need to talk about screens… with the widespread use of smartphones, it has become commonplace to stare at screens for hours every day. Also, the flashy, bite-sized packaging of our information is melting our attention spans and muddling our ability to think clearly. On one hand, our easy access to media from all over the world has given us a wealth of information, entertainment, and inspiration at our fingertips. But on the extreme end, getting absorbed in the news can veer away from the informative and into simply marinating in fear and hatred. Obsessing over social media, influencers, and even the carefully curated highlight reels of our peers can give us illusions of perfection to fruitlessly compare ourselves to. If we find our eyes glazing over in a sea of scrolling, maybe it’s a good time to take a step back, a deep breath and step out into nature. Reach out to loved ones and actually communicate with real people. At the very least, take those important pauses amidst those hundreds of bite-sized bits of info to “digest” what you’ve just consumed. Let’s reground ourselves in our beautiful world: I think our minds will thank us for it.

Lighten Your Spirit:

Release Shame and Guilt

There are times when self reflection and holding oneself accountable is necessary but how easily it can spill over into ruminating over past mistakes and berating ourselves for imperfections. Many of us take for granted the weight we carry around in the form constantly “keeping score” of the quality of our social interactions. In the worst instances of undeserved shame, people may wrongly feel responsible for abuse they have endured. Among other things you don’t need to/never should have felt guilt for: Distancing yourself from toxic or abusive people, Saying “No”, Standing up for yourself (and others), and honestly… any manner of maintaining healthy boundaries even if it makes some people upset. Now, there are times when we can look at a situation honestly and admit when it was our fault: when we’ve done things or behaved in ways that we are not proud of. We still deserve to learn from our experience and move forward without the constant shackles of past mistakes. Growth is beautiful. Guilt is not.

Release Comparison:

Celebrate your Unique, Strange, Imperfect, Beautiful Story

If Buddhism has a point and “desire is the root of all suffering”, what could be more agonizing than the desire to be someone else? “Just be yourself” is thrown around a lot, but if I may take it a tad further: It is downright a disservice to the world to live any life other than yours. Your unique talents, thoughts, messages, whatever sparks your soul: You may never find your incredible, unique colors if you are living by the playbook of society, your parents, your peers. There are so many outside forces pressuring us to fit a narrow definition of success and legitimacy. Despite the (loud) voices out there that will tell you otherwise, understand this: Wholeness, Success: You get to define these for yourself and you don’t have to wait for approval or acceptance. This is your journey, your trip. Advice and inspiration is fine… but don’t let someone write your whole itinerary for you…

This journey with all its ups and downs is yours. Bumps and cracks are not deviations in the road, they are part of the road.

Maybe these affirmations of self-care will be a bit of encouragement and inspiration to anyone who reads. If nothing else: a big virtual hug to anyone who has had a difficult transition, a difficult year, or an otherwise difficult life chapter. Know that even in your darkest hour, You Matter. Reground yourself in radical self-belief.

The road opens up before you. Proceed with Love, Proceed with Courage.